This website is fictional and does not reflect any actual organization or person – except for Matthew Modine. But it’s a fictionalized version of Matthew Modine, so that kind of counts. Absolutely zero percent of all profits from tickets and merchandise sales go to benefit alpacas in need. But all ticket sales and a portion of merchandise sales do go to benefit the Geffen Playhouse – a bona fide 501(c)3 non-profit organization. No alpacas were harmed in the making of this website. © Geffen Playhouse 2009
Sep
11
Save the Alpacas supporters have been in full force on the streets of Los Angeles. Efforts culminated with a strong effort by BARF’s own Chairman of the Board and celebrity movie star, Matthew Modine who led two of his furry friends and supporters through the streets of Westwood Village this week. The mission: to save the alpacas! The reason: well… we’ll get back to you on that one.
More photos after the break.
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Sep
4
Inspired by this week’s discoveries of alpaca remains at the Geffen Playhouse and in Chile, we started digging thorough our own archives. We found this very interesting article from nearly 30 years ago.
Researchers Postulate that Alpacas are Alien
NASA Gains New Hope in Finding Life in Outer Space
PERU – SEPTEMBER 1980 — A relative of author Carlos Casteneda, Ms. Castinets, points out that the elongated neck of the alpaca gave them a clear line of sight over great distances. “That’s the only way those Nazca lines could possibly be made. Natives were just too… let’s say, height challenged to see that far.” Ms. Castinets goes on, “The aliens must have accidentally left a few behind and they quickly populated the area, however they were unable to fully adapt to our earth’s climate and their population is in a serious decline.”
Ms. Castinets has asked SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) to send messages into space. She said, “Maybe if we call them, they will come back.”
Matthew Modine, movie star and Executive Director of the Bicoastal Alpaca Research Foundation (BARF) has commented, “That’s too bad about the alpaca, but it seems they never belonged here anyway.”
Steven Spielberg has purchased the rights to produce a feature film and feels it could be a blockbuster.
Mr. Modine is looking into writing the screenplay and perhaps starring in the leading role.
Sep
4
Matthew Modine Attempts Alpaca Séance to Postpone Extinction
SANTIAGO, CHILE — While scraping the soil for a new native Chihunya development project, a skip loader uncovered an ancient burial site. Work was immediately halted and crew chief and translator Umberto Harmonies immediately contacted officials at the Bicoastal Alpaca Research Foundation (BARF). “Judging from the contents of the burial pit, clearly this was a high level official or tribal leader” said Professor Jim Hornung, Provost and Chief Science Officer from the National Academy. He continued “Found were spiritual and totemic objects and small bone figurines, that’s my area of expertise.”
The professor identified them as alpaca and said they may have been used to communicate to the spirit world. Chairman of the Board and Executive Director of BARF, movie star Matthew Modine chimed in “If we could learn how to use these bone objects perhaps we too could commune with the spirit of the alpaca and gain insight into their extinction problem. Professor Hornung agreed. Mr. Modine had the objects sent to his Malibu estate for future study.
Sep
2
Aug
27
It looks like our little movement is getting some big-time exposure. Matthew Modine (natch), Frasier’s Peri Gipin, and 3rd Rock From the Sun’s French Stewart all took some time out of their busy lives to speak out on the behalf of the alpacas. You can watch their messages below. (And don’t forget to show your friends).
Matthew Modine Saves the Alpacas
Peri Gilpin Saves the Alpacas
French Stewart Saves the Alpacas
